Christmas Time..

Oh how I hate you this year. Seriously, I do! You snuck up on me once again! I had 3/4 of my shopping done by the time black friday was over. I assumed (BIG MISTAKE) that I would be done early and would be able to enjoy christmas time. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Christmas is next week and I am still not done. So because of my wonderful procrastination talents that I have, the weekend before Christmas I am going to be so freaking busy. Tomorrow I am going to Tyler's grandparents house to make cookies while him and his grandpa make fudge! I'm sure its going to be a fun day and Kyla always LOVES going there. She has so much fun. So I am pretty excited. It was supposed to be last weds, but sickness has taken over our little family and theirs also. So, my friday is booked. Saturday Tyler and I are going christmas shopping. Sunday my mom and I are going christmas shopping while tyler goes and hangs out with his best friend who is home from Florida. Monday I am making cookies with my momma. I am hoping the rest of the week I can relax until the christmas festivities start! :) I am so excited for christmas this year though. Kyla is going to be SO much fun. Last year she slept (So boring). She has already found her gifts and even started trying to open them. Oh I love my little girl.I am also working hard on trying to get "along" with people.. certain people that I do not like.. at all. Ugh! It's difficult. I am not good at pretending, but I figured I will try.. atleast until christmas is over! :) Trust me, I will not be making it my New Years Resolution. Why set myself up for failure, right?

Well, I think I am going to relax before bed. kbye! :)

Disgusting..

Doesn't even begin to describe what I just read. A two year old was shopping with her grandmother and aunt wandered away just for a second a sex offender snatched her up took off her diaper and tried to rape her in the next aisle over! How freaking sick!! Again, I can't even begin to describe how angry this makes me. Now before I talk about the todder wandering away I am first going to talk about how sick of an individual this man is. I can honestly say he should have NEVER been allowed out with the public. In 2003, he raped a seven year old and only got four years for that. FOUR YEARS!?!?! How ridiculous!!!! He now can face 21 years for what he did. I am sorry, but I do not agree that 21 years is even close to being enough punishment for what this sick guy did.

I truly hope parents will read this story and realize how quickly something horribe can happen. I hate being in the store and watching young children running around from their parents and the parents not saying anything. Seriously?! Do they think nothing can happen?? Child predators are EVERYWHERE. Even in the store your always in, even in the coffee shop that you always go to, even at the gas station you fill up at all the time etc. Parents, please keep your children with you at all times! It kills me that stuff like this happens. It is more than disgusting!!

Opinions are more than welcome.. what do you think about this?! What punishment do you think he should get??

I left out a lot of my opinion, because writing more about it will just make me that much more angry!

The Holidays Are Here..

And there is a certain family out there who is dealing without a loved one. I want to write this post about this family. I was younger when I met this girl.. I want to say I was in the 5th grade. Since the day I first met her she was someone who I looked up to. What a great role model she truly ways. She could light up a room with her beautiful smile and she always seemed so happy. Gosh, why couldn't I be like that? She ended up going to college for Nursing (such a perfect fit for her). She was that nurse that everyone would want. She would have such a great bedside manner. That was just her. She treated everyone nicely and with respect. She finally graduated college with a bachelor's degree. She had such high dreams that were now at reach. Not too long after graduation, though, she was diagnosed with cancer. Not just any cancer, but adrenal cortical cancer. This cancer is so rare it only affects one out of a million people per year. So why her?! Why someone who was such a wonderful young woman? Why such an amazing family. Okay, enough with all these questions.. she'll fight it. Nothing like this happens in our small town. Nothing would ever happen to someone so young. She seemed to be getting worse and worse. She was going through so much treatment.. treatments that didn't seem to be working. They even held a benefit to help with the cost of all these treatments. October 13,2010 a wonderful, beautiful, 23 year old lost the battle of her life. I was devestated when I found out. Why her? Why this family?! They don't deserve this... she didn't deserve this! To top it off the mother of this woman lost her son a few years before this due to a tragic accident. Such a strong, amazing woman just lost her only child she had left. I can't imagine feeling that pain. On Kyla's first birthday I attended calling hours. I never thought it would have been so difficult, but they were. This whole point of this post is I want to give all my thoughts and prayers and I hope others will to, to this wonderful family who has to deal with this holiday without a loved one. This beautiful mother no longer has her children with her during this time. To make matters worse, the mother of this girl also lost her sister the same exact day she lost her daughter! It was really a horrible day. So I would like to ask everyone to take some time out of this busy month to pray for this famil. They truly, truly deserve it. I will post two sites that you can go look at if you want some more information. R.I.P. Roselyn you are truly missed! I am keeping everyone in my prayers, because they truly deserve it right now!!

http://www.timesreporter.com/communities/carroll/x879452772/Young-cancer-victim-remembered-for-spirit

http://www.timesreporter.com/communities/carroll/x1767883588/Salineville-woman-dies-in-cycle-crash-cancer-also-claims-niece-23-same-day

Three Months is a long time.

I really need to start writing here more often. I say that all the time though. Well my little girl is no longer a baby. She has officially entered toddlerhood. Her first birthday went great! :) I couldn't have been happier. She is walking and talking like crazyI am getting so excited for christmas, and for once I finished christmas shopping already! Great huh? I have also come to the realization that having more children is out of the question. Why you ask? Because I have a very spoiled one year old and I like it that way, actually. :) Judge me if you will, but she is happy getting all the attention and all the toys which makes me a very happy momma. She does well with other children though. She shares like a pro! Yes, you heard right my spoiled little brat who doesn't even share with her momma shares her toys with other kids! Okay, maybe not all kids, but she shares with Ivan (who is her best friend). At the age of one, she already has a best friend :) That is a whole story on it's own that I will be sure to write about.

As of right now, both kyla and momma are getting over being sick. A sucky way to spend thanksgiving. It didn't help that I was one of those crazies standing outside toys r us in the pouring rain for three hours waiting for them to open ;) But it sure was fun and I got everything I wanted! Go me! :) I sat there and said "next year if it's raining my butt isn't going" but, I think that was a lie! I would rather go to toys r us than any other store on black friday. The people there weren't so rude and obnoxious. Overrall, it was a good night. I will write more some other time :)

Wow.

It has been a long time since I have wrote in here. My life has been busy, busy, busy. So.. where to begin.. Kyla is ten months old now. I really can't believe it. It seems like just yesterday I was bringing her home from the hospital. Time sure does fly. She now has two teeth!! I took her off the binkie a few days ago. That is a struggle. She has about 348423123156 melt downs a day. I think im missing the binkie more than she is! She crawls like a pro now (no more army crawling) and cruises on furniture. I think i'm probably going to cry when she starts walking. So I decided to do something totally different for her first birthday. Everyone does a party, so I really didn't want to do that. I wanted something to reflect her and what she loved to do. Well, she loves waterparks, but who wants to play in the water in the middle of October, not I! So I thought an indoor waterpark would be awsome! So I booked a HUGE room for her party. It's going to be Tyler, Kyla, Me, My dad, my mom, my sister and my brother. And the room is like a house. It has two queen beds, a sitting area with a fireplace and a couch (the pulls out into a queen bed), a bathroom and then upstairs in the loft is another queen bed and a bathroom. And the room all together has three TV's. Im pretty stoked! So other than planning her party, and taking away the binkie I am also taking her off the bottle (which I think is the easiest). Ohh.. and she is off of baby food. She hates it now. Where is my baby going?! :( So I was reading on the internet and I seen this cup called a tilty cup. It has no valve (so it's easier to suck from) and theres this platform thingy inside so the baby doesn't have to tilt their head back as far to get whatever is in the cup. I think im going out today and buying one. Possibly. I'm going to look at them and see if it would work for kyla. I'm hoping it will. She is so good on a sippy cup, but she doesn't get the concept of tilting your head back as far :( Well I think that's all the rambling now. If I buy the cup I'll have to post about how it works.

Hmm.

It's been a while since i've updated everyone, so since Kyla is sleeping I figured I would. I should be sleeping since I have to get up super early tomorrow. The downfall of having a doctor's office 45 freaking minutes away :( Actually it's an orthondist, but whatever. I am dreading my apt. First off, I havent been there for a year.. Oopps! :( Second, everytime I go I can't eat for like a week :(. (hence why I haven't been there for a year haha). So kyla is eight and a half months old now. She still isn't crawling, but she is starting to pull herself up. She officially drinks out of a sippy cup now (all by herself). My little girl is growing up :( It's so sad to think she used to be so super tiny!! I can't even believe it! I'm taking her to the lake/beach for the first time on Sunday! YAY!! :) I am so excited. I hope she loves it as much as her momma does. Then ty and I are going to be taking her to the zoo sometime this summer. I am super excited about that too. Oh the life of being a mommy. Well this will be it for now. I have a ton of things to do before I go to bed tonight. Goodnight :)

It's Been Forever.

I think my stress levels would be lower if I took time to blog every day. I like this because it gives me a chance to vent - which I don't get to do very often - and I can ramble on about dumb stuff and it makes me feel so much better! So I am officially becoming exhausted and part of it is my fault. So let me explain.. Kyla is in need of mommy's attention twenty-four seven. I never in my wildest dreams would have thought being a mother was going to be such a tough job. I get nothing accomplished during the day because she wants to be held allllll day long :( And I know what you are thinking.. you get a break durings naps. Wrong! Very, very wrong! Kyla does not believe in naps most days. Her naps consist of like a 15 minute cat nap! ugh!! By the end of the day I am exhausted. So she has a pretty good night schedule going on. She is usually in bed by nine. This brings me to why being exhausted is my fault. She usually goes to bed by nine and wakes up around 8. Plenty of time for me to get some sleep, but I never go to bed when she does. I should.. I really, really should, but I don't and I have my reasons. 1) that is the ONLY time I can get something done.. rather it be laundry, washing bottles, making bottles, researching stuff on the net.. whatever. AND that is the only time I have "peace and quiet" and am not needed by anybody. I like it. It's my only source of "me" time and I like to take advantage of it. This is what im thinking.. every other day go to sleep when she does and on the other days have the "me" time. hmm.. hopefully I can do it. It sounds like a good plan, but we'll see.

My life has been consisting of drama, drama, drama. I have had people in my life who I have kept in for certain reasons that are no longer needed because they cause nothing but trouble. I may only be 19, but I deserve respect! If you don't agree with my parenting styles that is your problem.. you either respect them or you don't see my daughter. The end! It's actually quite annoying how grown adults are acting like their five.. seriously, grow up!!

As for my beautiful daughter, she is growing like a weed. She is getting bigger and bigger everyday and is learning so much. Today she crawled across the couch!! Yay!! Still won't crawl when she's on the floor though. Maybe soon she will. She rolls like crazy now. It's sad to think she used to be so small :( I miss my little baby girl!

I guess that is good enough for now. I'm tired and need some sleep.

Goodnight :)

Hard Week.

This past week has been too eventful. On monday my mom got rushed to the hospital (needless to say I have never driven so fast in my life). They found out they she had a heart attack. Tuesday (yesterday) they found out that she had three blockages to her heart (two were 95% blocked and the other one was 100% blocked). She went through surgery and is now doing good. This is her third night in the hospital and she is more than ready to come home. It's such a scary thought to think that I could lose my mother when she is only 43. That is too young to be going through what she is going through. I am so very thankful that she is alright and so thankful for the people who have kept her in their prayers! I know God was definately with her. I am starting to wonder if maybe he was doing this for a reason. If though it's horrible He must have His reasons. We've been having family problems for quite sometime now. Since my grandpa died pretty much (which was eight years ago this month). For some reason though we all kept holding on by a little thread of hope. Hope that maybe they hadn't changed as much as it seemed they had and hope that maybe they actually care and just don't know how to show it. I don't know exactly. But now, all that hope is gone. How can you possibly go without calling your own aunt/sister/DAUGHTER to find out how she is doing?? People she hasn't talked to for years have even been praying for her and wishing her a fast recovery. It's nice to know that her own damn family can't do that. That seems so impossible to me, but obviously it is. We have done so much for them; we have ALWAYS been there for them but I guess that is not appreciated at all. It is officially whatever. I could not care less about them at all! Ugh!!

As for my family, everything is going great! Kyla is getting bigger and bigger by the day. She is almost 7 1/2 months old already! I can't believe it. Since this was the first time i've been back at the hospital since I had her, it really starts bringing back memories. I can't believe that it has been seven months since my water broke. That is insane!! It has been horribly hard to have to leave kyla while I am at the hospital. I am glad I am able to leave her with people I truly trust though. It makes the stress level remain low. Since I haven't been home all week and were not one hundred percent sure my mom is getting released tomorrow I have a ton of things to do.

Goodnight :)

Wow!

I really wish I had a life so that I would actually have something to write about. Unforunately I don't. :( Kyla is officially seven months old. I can't believe that in a few short months I am going to be planning her first birthday. It's so sad! I'm glad that she is growing and learning though. Other than spending time with her nothing has happened. This is going to be a very short post. Hopefully next time I'll have something to talk about.

Goodbye :)

Update.

I think i'm just going to give an update. Not too much has gone on - surprise, surprise! My first mother's day went fantastic! Got a surprise text from my cousin wishing me a happy mother's day. I didn't expect that at all, actually. It's really pathetic how a family that used to be so close couldn't be any farther apart. It's quite sad. It's even more sad to know that if my grandpa was still alive nothing would be like this. Speaking of that, this month he has been dead for 7 years. It's amazing that seven years have come and gone and I can still remember the day like it was yesterday. Grandpa - you will always be in my heart and soul and I really wish you were here sometimes to make things better! :(

On a better note, maybe things between Tyler's family and I are actually getting better! After waiting for ty to talk to them, I gave up and talked to them myself. Now that were okay, hopefully it lasts. I don't try to get confrontational, but at the same time i'm not the one to avoid it either. I can't stand when I feel obligated to do certain things. GRR. But maybe things will get better from here on out. I can only hope.

I got to thinking on my way home tonight how much Kyla truly means to me. I never in my wildest dreams would have thought that I would have a child by the age of 19, but now that she's here I want nothing more to give her everything she could ever dream of (although I know that's not possible). I try to give her so much, but it never seems like enough! I honestly don't understand it. Do all moms feel this way? She's almost seven months old and already I don't think she has enough things (clothes, toys etc.) I just want to give her more, more, more!! I guess I just want the best for her. She has done so much for me in the short seven months that she has been in this world and no amount of anything will ever repay her. I just want to be the best mommy I possibly can be because she deserves that and so much more. I know I am doing something right when the only way for her to stop crying is for me to take her. She could be screaming her head off and no matter what anyone does she doesn't stop until she gets me. It makes my heart melt every single time. To know that she is growing up so fast before my eyes makes me want to cry like a little baby. In four more months, my baby will be a year old :( It's so sad!! I know that these past seven months have been the best seven months of my life because of her and she is going to bring me so much more joy!

I am officially done rambling on now. I think it's time for bed. Goodnight :)

Rambling

So I am officially becoming stressed. I have one more exam and then I am finally done with school. Only problem is- I still don't have a school to go to :( At first I was stressing because I wasn't going to have a summer vacation because I was going to go to school all year round, and now I am stressing because I don't have a school to go to. Oh well, I guess i'll just have to see what happens.

On a different note, I am so excited for summer. There are so many things I want to do with Kyla. Our first summer vacation as a family.. I can't be anymore excited! :) Except, I don't know where I want to go. ugh! Tyler and I went to the Columbus Zoo last year, so maybe Cinci Zoo this year? It could be a possibility. I definatley need ideas and to do some serious research.

I got to thinking yesterday about how crazy life is. My best friend is graduating this year. It makes me sad to know that we're all growing up. Then I got to thinking about my high school years and how ridiculous it is that I talk to NOBODY that I went to school with. It is so pathetic actually. I always knew that friends went there seperate ways after high school, but this soon? Especially since they still all live around here. I guess you find out who your true friends are. Even though I don't get to see Robbie much, I do know he's a true friend and he loves Kyla to death. It's so cute! It's nice to know that he's stuck around through soo much. It's insane. We went from meeting when I was in 8th grade to now him becoming "Uncle Robbie." Life is weird.

I am done rambling now. Maybe next time I will actually have something interesting to talk about.

Goodbye :)

I am so blessed

I can truly desribe myself in one word - lucky. I have the greatest fiance in the world and the most beautiful daughter in the world and it all started in July of 08. I just recently got out of a four year relationship and a relationship was far from my mind. I just wanted to have fun! Plus, I was still trying to get over my ex. About an hour before I met Tyler I just got into an argument with my ex-boyfriend so I was so aggravated. I met up with my best friend Chelsey and her boyfriend Tyler. Well it just so happened that Tyler's cousin was there with his best friend Tyler. There was something there from the moment I seen him, but I never knew what. We talked a little and that was about it. I ended up finding him on myspace about a week later. A week after that he messaged me and we talked for hours. It's been history ever since. We started dating August 27,2008 and got engaged December 1,2008. He moved in around January and we found out we were pregnant in Febuary. That was the shock of my life! I kept looking at the test to make sure it still said positive. I was scared, but it ended up fine. I had my beautiful baby girl October 15,2009 weighing 6lbs 3 oz and 19 inches long. The first time seeing her was love at first sight. It was amazing to finally meet the little girl who was living inside of me for nine months. Now, 6 and a half months later she is growing like a weed and is becoming smarter and smarter every day. I love watching her grow and learn new things! It is such a blessing. Although motherhood is such a wonderful experience, it is also very difficult. I think having a child is the hardest things I have ever done. It put a huge strain on Tyler and I's relationship. We went from never fighting to being at each others throats constantly. I think juggling her and school was the hardest. My senior year of high school I had a 4.0 gpa and I knew I had to keep that going in college. The semester Kyla was born I also had a 4.0. Than it went completely down hill. I went from being a 4.0 student to barelly passing. I ended up having to drop a few classes which I never seen myself doing. I felt like I was a failure, but what else was there to do? Taking care of Kyla and trying to find time to do school work was almost impossible. I know that it will probably never get any easier. I want to get my education and I know now that it is just going to take longer than I intended. I really wish I would have waited to have children. I want to give Kyla the world and I know we would have been able to do that better if we had her when we were finished with school and had stable careers. I wouldn't trade her for the world though. She brought a meaning to my life and I love being her mommy even though it is a struggle. She means the absolute world to me and I am excited to see where life leads our little family!