Update.

I think i'm just going to give an update. Not too much has gone on - surprise, surprise! My first mother's day went fantastic! Got a surprise text from my cousin wishing me a happy mother's day. I didn't expect that at all, actually. It's really pathetic how a family that used to be so close couldn't be any farther apart. It's quite sad. It's even more sad to know that if my grandpa was still alive nothing would be like this. Speaking of that, this month he has been dead for 7 years. It's amazing that seven years have come and gone and I can still remember the day like it was yesterday. Grandpa - you will always be in my heart and soul and I really wish you were here sometimes to make things better! :(

On a better note, maybe things between Tyler's family and I are actually getting better! After waiting for ty to talk to them, I gave up and talked to them myself. Now that were okay, hopefully it lasts. I don't try to get confrontational, but at the same time i'm not the one to avoid it either. I can't stand when I feel obligated to do certain things. GRR. But maybe things will get better from here on out. I can only hope.

I got to thinking on my way home tonight how much Kyla truly means to me. I never in my wildest dreams would have thought that I would have a child by the age of 19, but now that she's here I want nothing more to give her everything she could ever dream of (although I know that's not possible). I try to give her so much, but it never seems like enough! I honestly don't understand it. Do all moms feel this way? She's almost seven months old and already I don't think she has enough things (clothes, toys etc.) I just want to give her more, more, more!! I guess I just want the best for her. She has done so much for me in the short seven months that she has been in this world and no amount of anything will ever repay her. I just want to be the best mommy I possibly can be because she deserves that and so much more. I know I am doing something right when the only way for her to stop crying is for me to take her. She could be screaming her head off and no matter what anyone does she doesn't stop until she gets me. It makes my heart melt every single time. To know that she is growing up so fast before my eyes makes me want to cry like a little baby. In four more months, my baby will be a year old :( It's so sad!! I know that these past seven months have been the best seven months of my life because of her and she is going to bring me so much more joy!

I am officially done rambling on now. I think it's time for bed. Goodnight :)