Rambling.

Can I start off by saying I freaking hate this nasty, nasty weather? I just want to see some sunshine. Maybe that will put me in a little better mood. That being said I've been in a pretty grumpy mood lately. Not for any specific reason (maybe other than lack of sleep.. more on that later) it just seems like the smallest stuff is annoying the crap out of me. I'm moving April 2, which is roughly 17 or 18 days (give or take a few days) which sounds like a loong time, but I feel like it's not. I feel like I have this huge long list of things that I need to do before then. Maybe it's the perfectionist in me.. who knows. I always need everything to occur in a timely matter and I need everything to be perfect! So maybe I'm afraid it won't.. I've even started packing! I don't want to wait till the last minute and be even MORE stressed! I would list what all I had packed already, but I forgot. How do you forget what you already packed?! Yikes! I know I packed all of our summer clothes, the decorations that were sitting on my headboard and kyla's dresser.. which was pretty much all pictures of her.. some towels (because of course I still need some) and I think that might be it. It felt like a lot until now. Maybe that's why I am so stressed.. because I still have SO much to do. *sigh*

So about my lack of sleep. I told everyone how kyla was wanting a cup and crap to take to bed yeah well that is followed by wanting in my bed too. Seriously?! It's so aggravating. So I gave in and whatever and let take the freaking cup (i'll break that dang habit later.. I need some fricken sleep!) But I don't want her in bed with me! I get the worst sleep EVER when she is in there. It's horrible.. it really is. She had about two nights in a row that went well.. the one night she woke up and I got her back to sleep within an hour the second night she didnt wake up at all. Hallelujah! (it's seriously been about two weeks since she's slept through the night.. possibly more.) I guess she made up for that last night, because she was horrible. So being the horrible mom I was I gave her the stinken cup in the middle of the night right? Gave her kiss laid her back down and that all was fine and dandy.. wrong, wrong, WRONG! She screamed and screamed and screamed and screamed.. and when I say screamed I mean SCREAMED. It was horrible. I think my neighbors heard her (mind you my neighbors are a good ways away.. I live on 15 acres of land) and she did that until she started gagging. Well obviously I couldn't just let her sit in their and make herself gag (see I am a good mom!) so I was like alright well i'll take you out of your crib and put you in your toddler bed (yes she has two beds up.. long story) and I'll lay with you. Perfect! She fell alseep.. I went to get up and it started all over again. I eventually gave in and put her in bed with me. I couldn't take it anymore.. I desperately need some sleep.. I have a lot to do! I think this whole situation is my biggest stress factor. I try so dang hard not to get her on bad habits and at seventeen months old she is doing the two biggest bad habits I said I wouldn't ever let her do (cup to bed and sleeping in my bed). Now don't get my wrong I am so for co-sleeping. If it works for your family then fantastic! It does NOT work for mine. If I were to co-sleep I would need a king size bed (we have a queen now) because she takes up SO much room.. such a little stinken girl. It blows my mind. And I spend half the night getting kicked (she sleeps like her momma) and it's such a hassle. I don't want to make excuses, but I think it's from getting her teeth. She got her one back tooth a couple weeks ago (and let me tell you that was pure hell) and I felt on the other side yesterday and it was swollen SO i'm really thinking she is getting another tooth. Could that be why she wants her momma? If so, I will feel horrible making her cry in her crib when she is in such agonizing pain and she wants me to snuggle her back to sleep.. (by the way I gave her teething tablets last night before bed thinking that might solve the problem.. and as you can see it did not). I just really want to get her back in her bed before we move because then I'm afraid I'll never get her in it after that! The move is going to be stressful enough on her and I don't want to make it worse by moving and putting her to bed in a room she's never seen in her life.. that's pretty scary! and I really don't want to keep her in my bed until we move and then until she gets used to the house because that's way to long for me. Considering I rambled so much about this problem I would probably say yes that is my biggest stress! Please tell me I am not alone.. Please tell me your kids went through this (and if they didn't then LIE! just kidding)

Enough Rambling. Good bye. :)