Coming Soon..

I am writing a post about my story.. as a teen mother. I am writing the negatives.. in hopes of someone reading it and choosing the wait to have children instead of having them at 14,15,16 etc. Heads up: It's SUPER long! And you may read it and be like 'wow! how can you feel that way' and if that is how you feel then that's fine.. but I want to prove to other teenagers that being a teen parent isn't all great! I just wanted to give everyone a small warning. It will probably be posted tomorrow or the next day. That is all for now!

Thanks :)

Random.

Let me start off by throwing this out here .. the reason I do not have any pictures of my daughter on here is simple.. I don't like putting pictures of her on the internet for all people to see. I love blogs with pictures (don't get me wrong), but theres this part of me that wonders who actually looks at these things.. pervs? It's quite possible! I know, it's strange, but hey.. it's whatever! Just a little information I'm sure some of you guys' were wondering about.

My job as a SAHM is household 'duties'. I don't mind.. really. Tyler goes to school full-time and works so the least I can do is keep the house clean and make him food right? Plus, I don't work outside of the home and until I can make up my damn mind on what I want to study in college I am no longer in school. So its the least I can do. but there is one chore that I can't stand.. dishes. You can laugh at me all you want, but I am so serious. I will do laundry any day of the week, clean the bathroom etc. but I hate doing dishes. It makes my hands dry and they itch and yuck.. stupid dawn botanicles.. I hate you for doing this to my hands, But really.. I can even get a dish soap that doesn't do that to my hands and I still hate doing dishes. I run out of clean sippy cups quite often. You would think this would be a wake-up call to do dishes more, correct? Wrong! I just go out and buy more sippy cups so I don't have to do dishes as often! That.. right there.. is my bad mom/house-wife of the day award! Go me! :)

Other than that things have been going okay. Kyla is going through a horrible stage. Her temper tantrums are at a high and she even took up hitting. WTF?! My perfect little angel.. hitting..? Who does that little girl think she is?! So I have been trying everything to get her little 'tude under control. Not working. at all. Tips are very welcome! I am loosing my mind. So other than dealing with my wonderful brat of a daughter (and I mean that in the most loving way) I am still searching for a major. Eventually it will come to me. Hopefully sooner rather than later. That's all for now.

Bye :)

HE GOT THE JOB!!

Okay, so we got the call this morning that he did get the job! yay! put in his two week notice at the job he's at now.. and he will start his new job Feb. 7th! I really didn't think they would call this morning, but they did! :) I couldn't have been happier. I am looking into going back to school. Hardcore looking. I have been out for almost a whole year. Yikes! I never thought I would want to go back soo bad! But, I miss it. I miss school. I miss getting smart. I love learning new things. Things im passionate about. I have been going up in the air about what I want to major in. I have changed my mind 2348642312 times. No kidding. I almost declared myself a failure.. but, it's getting better. I think i've made up my mind. Maybe. I am not taking any drastic measures of enrolling and wasting money until I know for sure. Luckily, when I was doing college I got my whole year paid for (except one semester of books) due to my smarts :) (Thank you 4.0) So I didn't waste a ton of money. I can deal with a 700 dollar student loan.. that I am paying off next month! No more debt for this lady! Well.. I think that is all I have to write about.

I am sure I will have more to write about at the end of this weekend.. if we actually even venture out of the house this weekend. It's supposed to be super cold! BRRR! :(

Bye for now! :)

Anticipation Kills!

So Tyler and I are patiently (or not so much) waiting for the phone call to tell us if he for sure gets the job or not! I seriously can't stinken wait any longer!! I want to know NOW. I am just so anxious.. I don't think we are going to hear about it today, but a girl can wish right?! So I guess i'll just wait.. and wait.. and wait. Oh gosh hurrythehellupandpickupthedamnphoneandlethimknowforgodsakes!! Okay, im done. :)

On a very negative note.. I ended up pretty ticked off the other day. Since kyla's grandma hadn't seen her in a couple weeks she said she wanted to meet us for icecream. Well she never showed up! Can you say ticked off?! Not only did I waste my time and gas to get there, but how can you 'forget' to come see your granddaughter! Might I add this was the SECOND time she has done this. Efffffff youuuu!!! So, of course she changed the story. I'll explain. When I asked her where she was she said 'home why?' and I was like we were supposed to meet for icecream. and her exact words were 'oh shit I forgot' then after she realized I was ticked off she changed her story and said 'sorry i was reading I lost track of time if I known what time it was I would have been there'. Really?! Because that was pretty much your excuse LAST time! So she BEGGED me to let her come over and I was like uhm, NO! Sorry. But guess what.. pretty soon kyla is going to be old enough to understand what is going on and I am NOT explaining to her why her grandma forgot about her! It really just ticks me off!

Okay so enough about that. Kyla is fifteen months old now! YIKES! She is in the 25th for weight (she was just below the 50th) and she is still in the 95th for height! She is so tall! Not sure where she gets it from. Her development is of a two year old.. well in the working of a two year old. She is doing everything an eighteen month old she be doing and is doing things a two year old should be doing. Which is pretty exciting! But, she has always been that way. She is starting to get used to the big girl potty! She looooves sitting on it! She goes up to it and says 'this' and starts taking off her diaper. She hasn't done anything on it yet, but it is still really early. I am not rushing/pushing things. She will do things when she is ready too.

That really is all for now. :)

Vent.

Read at your own risk: I really need to vent. Since Tyler has the car all day everyday for school and work that leaves me stuck at home.. all day.. every day. It's truly taking it's toll on me. I do nothing, but sit at home all day and cook and clean. I never get out! Unless you count going grocery shopping with kyla every two weeks 'getting out'. I just can't take being home any longer! I am so freaking sick of it!! Every little thing has been getting on my nerves.. and I think it's all because I never get out and I never get any 'me time'. evverrrrrrr!

I am sick of 'know it all people'. especially 'know it all people' on facebook! freaking anoying! Get a life!!
I am sick of drama via facebook. Stop arguing through a status! You know you don't have the balls to say this crap to each other in person so just stop!
I am sick of seeing parents (especially teenagers) putting themselves before their children! STAY HOME! STOP WASTING MONEY THAT YOU DON'T HAVE ON YOURSELVES!! YOU HAVE KIDS NOW!!
I am sick of seeing people get knocked up just to get attention. Way to be mature!
I am sick of 'friends' that expect ME to feel sorry for them or expect ME to be happy for them when they don't ever do the same (this is a big one.. i'll explain later).
I am sick of facebook. period. I think I might actually get rid of it.
I am sick of people that used to talk to me all the time don't just because I have a baby. Yes, we are living two complete seperate lives, but you can atleast aknowledge me.. that would be nice.
I am sick of people that have been out of high school for TWO years now still bitch like we are in high school. (SOO glad I am not in that 'world' anymore).
This kind of goes back to the people not aknowlegding me.. I am sick of not having any friends! People say it'll get easier over time, but how does not having any friends get easier?! Okay I lied I do have one good friend, but she lives 45 minutes away and I hardly talk to her anymore! :(
I am sick of people pushing their religious views on me.. "you are going to hell because you had a child out of wed-lock" .. well shoot me whore because guess what?! You have had sex with the same amount of guys as I have and HOLY CRAP YOU'RE NOT MARRIED EITHER!! Way to be a hypocrite!

Ughhh!!

Okay now to explain the one about friends expecting me to be happy for them, but never return the favor. My one 'friend' (I shall never call this person this anymore) complains to me ALL the time. Of course, I feel bad for her (although not going to lie our money issue is WAY worse than theirs, but that's what friends do right?) She moved out.. he got a good job.. who was happy for her.. Me! Of course thats what friends do! She gets exciting news.. and who was happy for her? ME! She gets MORE exciting news and once again I was happy for her! Well Tyler got a call about a job offering.. making EASILY double what he makes now. I'm excited!! We actually won't be struggling with money! So I tell my friend and she says "oh. cool." seriously?! And that was the end of the conversation! Well screw you then! I am always happy for you but if you want to be a jealous you know what then FINE! Do I understand why she acted the way she did (other than she is a SUCKY 'friend') ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!! My one friend is finally getting her life "situated" after a crappy end to a marriage.. well more like ending now.. and she is starting school.. I'm jealous! I am not going to lie.. because I can't go back to school right now.. But I am SOOO happy for her!! She deserves it and I am so proud of her for deciding to go back! I guess maybe I just choose crappy friends. It's whatever though. I don't care anymore. I don't need people that shitty in my life anymore.

I don't think I am done venting, but I am going to stop because this is making me more aggravated. I thought venting was supposed to help?? Sigh.. obviously not for me!

I hope everyone is having a better day than I am!

bye!

Where has time gone?!

Well, Christmas came and went and I had a great time. Kyla had a wonderful Christmas :) And I can't believe it's 2011! Holy shit! 2010 was pretty bad, so hopefully 2011 is much better. I have been having multiple conversations with different people about marriage. Now let me tell you a little about me and you may understand why this is a big thing. I was the never the girl that dreamed of her wedding. Maybe I should have known then.. but no.. So my freshman year of high school I started dating this boy. (actually it started the summer before, but just follow me on this) We dated, and dated, and dated some more. Finally after a couple years the word came up... Marriage? What? Me? No! But, I couldn't screw this up. "Yeah after we get out of high school and stuff.. we still have a lot to do first" Then came the "promise ring" who invented those gay things! Maybe it was because I told him no engagement ring now (OR EVER). I finally realized that I don't want to be married. That realization started the fights. He didn't understand why I thought marriage was dumb and stupid. (don't take this the wrong way to all of you guys that are married) I shouldn't say marriage is dumb and stupid.. it's great. But not for me! I know it's some physiological reason. Maybe a therapist is who I need to see. So anyways I am going to try to explain how many crazy brain thinks. Marriage- tied down, his last name (he owns me), divorce (popular thing now-a-days), relying on a guy (never, ever), setting myself up to get hurt etc. I could go on forever. But I think it all comes down to fear. I don't like divorce. I actually disagree with it.. marriage is supposed to be forever. So what happens when it comes down to being miserable or getting a divorce? People could change all the time. Now looking back, I think what scared me so much was my ex boyfriend. Perfect guy when I met him. Completely changed into a controlling, abusive jerk! I dealt with it for four years! Brainwashed me into thinking I couldn't get better than him and that all of our problems was my fault. It's a huge story. So now I think I'm afraid. I am waiting for tyler to change into this type of guy. Commitment has been huge since this relationship. I was afraid to commit to tyler. I was afraid of getting hurt again. I know it's retarded! I still tend to push tyler away. Like this marriage thing.. Anyways.. enough of this done rambling. The point is.. I have changed my mind. Finally. I am taking a leap of faith. We are going to look at a wedding place this friday! Yikes!!! I don't want to be afraid of the what if's for the rest of my life! Wish me luck! I am pretty excited, but I think tyler is even more excited than I am. I am starting this year off on good terms :) I hope I keep it up!